Going Both Ways: Signs of Bisexuality in Men

A person’s sexuality can be a tricky subject, to say the least. You can be really into one gender, you could be into both, and you could be into any number of other preferences. 

More difficult is actually confirming somebody else’s sexuality, because they themselves might not know what they are into as well. These sorts of situations are tricky because you wouldn’t want to assume, and of course, you wouldn’t want to make things awkward by asking outright. 

There are, however, ways you can confirm any misgivings you have over your friend, a sexual partner, or even to yourself. You just need to know what to look for. 

What is Bisexuality?

Bisexuality is a sexual orientation where one person is attracted to both men and women. This can happen to sexes.

This definition is the simplest way you can put it, but things can be way more complicated and nuanced, just like any other aspect of someone’s personality. Bisexuality is simply not black and white, unfortunately.

A bisexual man, for example, might be physically and emotionally attracted to women, but can only be physically attracted to other men. They’re still technically bisexual but are not into forming romantic relationships with other men, even though they find them sexually attractive.

Each person is unique and finding out whether a man is bisexual or not should be done on a case by case basis. The more you know the person, the easier it will be to determine what type of bisexual they are.

Signs That a Man Might be Bisexual

Just a quick disclaimer before we get into it: do understand that even though the characteristics we’re about to list are common amongst bisexual men, having them is not a dead giveaway.

The only real way to be 100% sure is to ask your friend or partner directly. That said, they might not even be sure themselves. Anyway, without further ado, here are the signs a man might be bisexual.

He rarely notices women “that way”

If you’ve been around men, even just as friends, you’ve probably noticed how often women catch their attention. Sometimes, it might not even be a conscious or deliberate thing.

Most straight men would steal a glance at a girl, whether because she’s wearing skimpy clothes, or have a great body, and it will all be out of reflex. If you confront them about it, they might not even realize that they were staring.

Bisexual men don’t show the same kind of interest on women like a straight man would.

Of course, most bisexual men would still notice women, but not to the same level as a straight man might. Basically, their attention would be split between the different sexes.

…But does notice men more often

Like we’ve alluded to previously, the reason a bisexual man might not notice women as often as a straight guy would is because they might also be attracted to other men as well. The items on their menu have essentially doubled, basically.

Of course, guys can be pretty good at hiding their interest on other people in public. All it takes is a split second look. So, if you’ve been watching your guy in question, he probably will not linger his eyes as much as you might expect.

But if you are observant enough or pay enough attention, you might notice subtle signs. A bisexual guy might just stare at another guy’s face, body or crotch for a little too long, and it might not always be out of envy.

He acts uncomfortably weird around his guy friends

Hanging out with the boys is an essential part of any guy’s life. It’s a time to unwind, bond over beer and video games, and of course, talk about their lives.

What might not be normal is if the guy in question is a little too touchy-feely with his guy friends. He might be a little too keen on touching his friends, hugging or talking a little too close to them.

Of course, you’ll have to take into account the type of environment he grew up in. Most men who grew up in western cultures do tend to act physically distant towards other guys. So, it would be rather strange if you notice him being too touchy with his guy friends.

But for some cultures, a little skin to skin contact between guy friends is not out of the ordinary. Though as we’ve mentioned before, there are tell-tale signs that someone is acting too close out of physical attraction. You just have to be observant about it.

He is slightly homophobic

Now, this might seem a little counterintuitive, but homophobia is common amongst men who aren’t sure about their sexuality yet. They tend to feel uncomfortable around bisexual or homosexual men because they feel somewhat insecure about their own sexuality.

A straight person usually doesn’t have an issue with homosexuals. But a bisexual man might feel frustrated about it, since they themselves believe that they couldn’t act so openly for one reason or another.

They might also feel this way because they are in complete denial and believe that being around other openly homosexual men could cause them to slip. This could also be a case of “pulling the pigtails” of a girl they like, just with guys.

Basically, they act hateful towards homosexuals because they notice them more readily, whether because of their own insecurity, envy, or in a more twisted sense, admiration.

Other people’s sexuality is a big deal to him

If they are not outwardly expressing hatred towards gay men, then at the very least, he might seem a little too interested in other men’s sexuality.

This could be another indicator that he is insecure with his own sexuality and doesn’t know how to express it in a healthy manner.

Straight men couldn’t really care less about other people’s sex lives, especially if they are satisfied with their own. Stranger still, straight men aren’t usually too keen on finding out about bisexual or homosexual habits in bed.

Think back on any conversations you’ve had. If he mentions other people’s sexual habits, or preferences without being prompted, then he might just be bisexual, or at least questioning his own sexuality.

He fantasizes about it a lot

Whether he’s a partner or just a close friend, one way you can determine if he has any bisexual tendencies is if he fantasizes about being with men in bed.

Now, this doesn’t have to be overtly homosexual, like talking about having sex with a guy. It could just be something minor, like using a dildo on themselves while they are having sex with their female partner.

They might even have fantasies on inherently masculine women or fantasizing about being dominated in bed by their female partner, not necessarily by a man.

Sexual fantasies can be a touchy subject for most men, so it’s not really something you can sus out on the first day of knowing them. But once you get to know them better, and they know that they can trust you, he might even initiate talking about fantasies on his own.

He likes being stimulated from the back

On this day and age, being stimulated anally isn’t exclusive to homosexual or bisexual men. Not many would admit it, since it involves a lot of stigma from society, but anal stimulation, especially prostate stimulation, has become more accepted amongst men.

In fact, it might sound a little strange, but not all gay men like to receive anal stimulation, regardless of what society says. Being bisexual or gay all boils down to who you might find attractive, not how you want to get off.

That said, a bisexual guy’s preference to anal stimulation doesn’t have to involve his own back door. Some bisexual men who aren’t so sure about their own sexuality might project their fascination with anal sex to their female partners.

They might have a strong preference to have anal sex more than usual, or some of the toys they have are geared more towards simulating anal sex, like certain masturbators.

If you can get your man in bed and you notice a strong interest in anal sex, which he couldn’t really explain, then we can probably chalk this down to a Freudian slip.

His porn preferences

Another way you can know whether someone is bisexual is checking out their porn preferences. Of course, you can do this by sneakily checking their search history, but the best way is for them to tell you themselves.

If you’re in a trusting relationship or that he knows he’s in an environment where he won’t be judged, then the guy in question won’t have a problem sharing.

Straight men don’t usually watch homosexual porn, unless it involves lesbians. But if he dips his toes into some gay porn every once in a while, then it’s very likely that he has at least shown some interest in it.

Hentai, or Japanese animated porn, is also a great avenue for men who are bicurious, since you can find all sorts of genres there. Some of which may not always be possible in the real world but can satisfy their urges all the same.

A preference for futanari, for example, which is a genre dedicated to femboys, or women with dicks, could be and indicator that your man is trying to satisfy their bicuriosity without going over the line.

His sex drive leave much to be desired

If you are sleeping with a guy whose sexuality you are not so sure about, then you might notice his libido leaving much to be desired.

Of course, this doesn’t always mean that he is attracted to men or are bisexual. Maybe he just feels bored in bed, are just particularly stressed out at work or some other problem. Not having enough sex is something a lot of couples go through, even amongst straight couples.

But noticing a gradual change in your partner could be a sign that their preferences are changing. That doesn’t always mean he has become uninterested in women completely, but he might feel a source of frustration not being able to explore as much as he wants to.

The best things to do in this situation is to just communicate and solve the underlying problem together as a couple. Compromise when you can, set boundaries when you can’t, but try to be as accommodating as you can.

Desire for threesomes

Once you’ve been in a relationship for a while, your partner might be open to exploring their sexual fantasies with you just to spice up the bedroom. One of the most common fantasies involve threesomes.

Now, threesomes themselves are not indicators for bisexuality in men. Especially so if your guy suggests a threesome with you and another girl.

What makes it strange is if he wants to have another guy in the room, and he initiates this suggestion by himself. Doubly strange if neither of you have any experience having a threesome.

A straight man would find the idea of having another man having sex with their female partner as a little emasculating, unless they have that kind of fetish or have decent experience with group sex. So, most guys would prefer having an extra woman in the room instead, since this is far less threatening to them.

Now, if a guy does ask for a threesome with an extra guy, that doesn’t necessarily mean he has desires to have sex with that guy in question. But seeing another guy in the throes of passion right in front of him might excite him, and this could be a good indicator that he is bisexual.

He has strange social media habits

Another way to check whether your partner is bisexual is his habits in social media. A lot of people are way too confident that nobody notices who they follow or are friends with online.

But checking who your partner follows online is just a simple click away. It can be a bit tricky, however, since bisexual men do find both sexes attractive.

Guys are pretty single-minded, however, and that’s true whether they’re straight or bisexual. Most of the time, a guy would follow a celebrity or other people who are attractive simply to check out hot photos of them.

If you see a couple of hot male models on their following list, alongside hot female ones, then it’s very likely he finds both of them attractive.

Dating a Bisexual Man isn’t a Bad Thing

Now what happens once you discover that your partner is a bisexual? Well, just keep on going like nothing changes.

He is still the same guy you started dating, and this small change in your perception of him shouldn’t ruin all the good times you’ve had so far.

As long as he isn’t cheating on you, and you are communicating well enough, then there’s probably no reason to be mean about it. In fact, understanding your partner’s preferences might lead to avenues that can help improve your relationship.

Just because he is attracted to both men and women doesn’t mean he loves you any less.